What is Beauty? & My Happy Medium

I have recently started two networks through ning.com, which I LOVE, btw...but one of my new members on B.YOUneek (the network) has brought up a really interesting discussion that spurred me on to write this post. What defines beauty? Who defines beauty? To me, it seems that there's an overwhelming answer: the media. I'm not the only one who thinks so...

Posted by Julie LaFerrera on September 10, 2008 at 11:34pm

I am pretty much convinced that you cannot be an mtv reality star without a huge set of fake boobs. It's starting to get ridiculous now.

Comment by Graziella Baratta

Sadly enough, I think you may be right Julie...this is what the cameras focus on, jeez! What's our society coming to? If it makes you feel better, I was on MTV a number of times (but not as a reality star), and I certainly don't have fake breasts :)

Comment by Julie LaFerrera

And you look amazing and confident! This subject always bothers me b/c it seems like the media aways focuses on trying to make yourself happy from the outside in rather than the inside out. They make it seem that being tan with a perfect body is all a woman needs to be happy in life.

Comment by Graziella Baratta

Thank you, Julie! You are sooooo right about this. I think being happy with oneself is two-fold. When you feel good, you look good...but when you look good, you also feel good. Defining what "looks good" is where the discrepancy is... Each person has their own unique look, and people don't seem to embrace that, but rather try to fit themselves into a mold that does not work for everyone. I'm all for the "YOUneekness" in every woman and man, for that matter....nothing beats authenticity.

Let's just say that for the sake of entertainment, this is the reason most networks focus on the sex appeal of the body. This is how they make their money. However, I don't think that the media takes enough responsibility for how our society is affected, particularly children. There's really no consciousness for what is put out there as "entertainment." I'm not one to argue that beauty is entertaining, but there is also a limit of "appropriateness" that needs to be drawn.

The old cliche saying holds true; "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Beauty really does come from within. If you're a happy, fulfilled, healthy person you are going to exude beauty. There is something to be said though, for not being happy with one's looks. That issue may be deep- rooted beyond it's face value. However, I also feel that the media plays a part in helping breed insecurities on how one looks.

With that said, and being a woman who is subjected to "beauty pressures," I have found my happy medium...B.YOUneek! B.YOUneek, pronounced be unique, is a brand (name of my image consulting & grahic/web design companies) I created a few years ago that to me means to bring out the best in an individual without conforming to a stereotype. There's nothing more rewarding to me than to know I've helped someone achieve confidence while still remaining true to oneself; that is their natural beauty & personality. Beauty does not mean looking like Barbie- it means being the best YOU that you can be, inside and out. I love helping others bring out the best in themselves, and knowing that they feel truly beautiful inside and out. :)

And The Winner Is.....

I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to have the competition pics to go along with this story. They're in, so here is the continuation/finale of "What Happened in Vegas Part I"& "More of What Happened in Vegas".........

July 17, 2008: Competition day arrived and I felt really good about my personal interview, which happened the

First we performed the opening number dance to "Strut Like You Mean It," and of course, that was one of my favorite parts of the competition! Just look at my smile while dancing, lol!


After state introductions, "Graziella Baratta, New York," we went into night before, so I was excited to get the show started! We had preliminary competitions first @ 1:00 pm, and then the finals @ 7:30 pm.

Despite the hectic schedule, I made sure I ate really well this day so that I'd have enough energy for the whole event.swimsuit and evening gown competitions.



Not all of my "people" were able to make it to the pageant, so I had my sister Liana, and my grandmother there cheering me on.

Everything went really well, but I was a bit sad not to have all of my loved ones present. During my 3 hour break, I spoke with family, ate and took nap before freshening up my hair and makeup for the final competition.



After my little break, I had a renewed sense of energy & excitement, and I was determined to make this performance even better than the last!

Upon returning to the theater, we had a little pow- wow with choreographer/ stage manager, Natalie Carson...who did a fabulous job!
You could just feel the excitement, nerves and anticipation in the room...

Finals: Immediately following state introductions, the "Top 6" Finalists were announced.

After being selected to the "Top 6" finalists, I was ready to kick it into high gear! I felt good about my personal interview and preliminary competition performance, so I had a good feeling that I would be picked, but you never know...pageants are very subjective.

Standing in the Top 6 line, I was thinking "ok, it's now or never. Time to kick it up a notch!"



I was really touched by the support I received from some of my new friends who helped me during quick- changes backstage.

They helped me throw on my swimsuit, my evening gown, adjusted my straps, and told me when my swimsuit was riding up!

The whole final event really just flew by...it was so fast that I don't even remember doing it.

I was the 4th one called, so that meant I was #4 in the final contestant lineup in each phase of competition.

First, we had the on-stage interview, which was a question picked from a fishbowl at random by each contestant. Mine was something to the effect of "How do you think television effects children and what is its role?"

This was the only part of the competition I remember very clearly because I really took my time with the answer. I can't repeat my answer for you verbatim, but I spoke about how I see students of mine affected by media everyday, and how they sometimes repeat what they see and hear, which is not always appropriate for children. I feel there is a collaborative responsibility

among parents, teachers/mentors, and the media to monitor what children watch, and how they behave in response to what they see.

Whew! After that was over, it was on to swimsuit competition.

This is another one of my favorite parts of competition, especially because the music is upbeat, and well, I'm a dancer & choreographer, so I can't help but have fun during swimsuit! I selected a hot- pink (my favorite color) bikini with a little bling in the center of the top ;-)

I worked hard to get in shape for swimsuit, and was excited to show off my results. I've always been pretty fit, but there's a bit of "tweaking" to do for an on- stage swimsuit presentation.

It takes guts to go out there in a bikini, but oh how invigorating it is after working so hard!


Right after running off stage from swimsuit, I slid into my evening gown with the help of a few friends :) I threw on my earrings, adjusted my hair, and added more lip gloss...and I was on!

I felt really glamorous and feminine in my evening gown, and it made me happy. I think that's an important factor in selecting a garment. It should make you shine from the inside out.

Soon after modeling, contestants in all divisions participated in the parade of gowns number to David Cook's "Time of my Life," sung live by our host Jay Robert Joseph.

I actually cried during this part. It was a culmination of emotions from the whole pageant week, and a sense of release. I was proud to have represented New York at nationals and made it to the Top 6. I told myself that no matter what happens, I would be happy.

We lined up for awards, and then the announcement of the winners in all divisions...and of course my division was last! Ahhhh, the anticipation!



We all nervously held hands. I remember thinking about what I had to do if I was called a runner-up. Our choreographer was very specific (as I would be) about what we had to do on each occasion, and I didn't want to let her down. "Second runner-up, Ms. Michigan Daphne Rice! First runner- up, Ms. Florida Kim Emery!" Pause, pause, pause, pause...........


And the new Ms. United States 2008 is......pause, pause, pause, pause.......from New York, Graziella Baratta!!


My thoughts: "Did they say New York?!?!" Wait, that's me!! OMG!!!

From that moment on, everything is a total blur. I just remember being really excited, somewhat frazzled, and trying to think about what to do next.



I was elated beyond belief. It was the moment I had been waiting for, what I had dreamed of, what I worked so hard to achieve.
I became Ms. United States.
My first wave.

What do I do now?

Just smile!


I'll never forget that day.

Visit the official Ms. United States 2008 site